Help I Might Have Aids (i Need Good Answers Now)?

OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY SO HERE’S THE DIZZLE:
Last night I was partying at the club with my bros Kyoshiro Tohdoh and Rick Santorum. Things were going good, as I got at least three phone numbers and a footjob from some gay guy in the bathroom.
But as the night drew to a close, Rick Santorum began to drink too much and he started prancing around dressed like a cowgirl. I told him to stop it, so he bent me over the bar and ripped off my North Korean flag underwear.
The next thing I knew, I was waking up in Tokyo with a sore *** and I was positive for HIV. I thought that HIV stood for Herpes Instant-death Virus, and so I was not conerned.
I began to drive home from Tokyo, when suddenly I spotted a very gay male sprinting alongside my car on the highway. He was jacking off as he ran, and he was so fast that he jumped through my windsheild and stuffed his balls against my eyes.
I began to swerve, and I crashed into the car in front of me at 85 miles per hour. The guy in that car was nne other than Rick Santorum, and as he died, his AIDS-infected blood got in my eyes and mouth. The gay guy in my car was already dead when I hit in the brakes.
SO WHAT DO I DO WHAT THE ******* **** **** **** DO I DO ABOUT MY AIDS? HELP ME GODDAMNIT I DON’T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN